DRABBLE: Time Runs Down (Remus/Lily)

[captainpookey.livejournal.com]

Title: Time Runs Down

Character Pairing: Remus/Lily

Prompt: "Splat"

Rating: G

Word Count: 129

Summary: It doesn't take very long for things to take unexpected turns, and not in Remus's favor.

Author's Notes: Simple. Short. Nothing special.





Five seconds ago James waltzed the protesting Lily around the Common Room.
Five seconds ago Remus’s eyes were bright, his chest light.

Four seconds ago Lily beat James on the back but he didn’t stop.
Four seconds ago Remus’s laugh was like butter, James’s smile like pudding.

Three seconds ago James dipped Lily backwards with grace, and Lily’s arms tightened around his neck.
Three seconds ago Remus’s heart lurched uncomfortably into his neck.

Two seconds ago James spun Lily around the room and planted a kiss on her lips.
Two seconds ago Remus’s face whitened, his mouth twitched.

One second ago Lily stopped fighting.
One second ago Remus stopped breathing.

Zero seconds.
Remus’s heart splatters across his shoes.
James and Lily don’t stop to notice.
Remus doesn’t stop noticing.

Comments

[peskywhistpaw.livejournal.com]

Oh... that's really quite heartbreaking. Poor Remus!

I really like the way that this is written, all methodic-like... (Is that the right word? I haven't any idea, but I think you get my meaning.)

[captainpookey.livejournal.com]

haha, thanks. :D I understand what you mean.

[chimbomba.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I agree! I really liked the approach you took in this one. :D It was quite lovely! Poor, dear Remus. *hugs close*

[mahmfic.livejournal.com]

:-( saaaadddd! i didn't like the whole seconds thing at first. but the first and zero seconds are so powerful.