Wishlists: Dark Hunger (Lily/Severus)

[maraudersaffair]

Author: maraudersaffair
Recipient: rosevalleynb
Title: Dark Hunger
Pairing: Lily Evans/Severus Snape
Request/Prompt Used: Voldemort Wins, Dark Elements, Romance, AU, Arranged Marriage
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2000
Summary: To protect Harry, Lily marries Severus.
Notes: I hope you enjoy it, rosevalleynb! A big thanks to Lety for the beta work.



The Lestrange Estate was a damp, shadowy place. Lily felt like a rat scurrying from room to room. She still didn’t know why she had been spared.

There were Death Eaters everywhere. It was a shock to see them without their masks. It felt sacrilegious.

James was dead. He was dead. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. She was too numb to cry.

On the third day, Severus visited her. They had stashed her and Harry in a supply cupboard in the kitchen, and he sat among the potatoes as he spoke to her.

“You are one of them, aren’t you?” she said.

“Yes.” His dark eyes never left her face.

She cradled Harry closer, and it was difficult not to squeeze him too tightly.

“They want to kill your son,” Severus said softly.

“They? You are one of them.”

“I don’t want your son to die.”

She shuddered. Her reality was so awful now. She lived in a nightmare. “Why are you here, Severus?”

“I’m here because I want to save you. I want to save the both of you.”

“How could you save my son? The prophecy—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. The Dark Lord has Harry and he will never let him go.”

Her cheek was suddenly wet. She raised a hand and touched her skin. Somehow she was crying, but she didn’t even feel it.

“He’s my son, Severus. I would die before I let Voldemort have him.”

“There is a compromise,” he said patiently.

No, I want revenge, she thought, then she felt silly. Worse, she felt like a bad mother.

“What is it?” she said after a moment.

“You could marry me.”

*

The Lestrange library felt like a gaping mouth ready to swallow Lily whole. She sat among a pile of books, little Harry sleeping next to her. If she died, at least she would die among things she loved most.

The door creaked open, revealing Severus. She watched him approach. His hair was glossy and combed, and he was freshly shaved. It was odd to see him fastidious about his appearance.

He sat down beside her. “You are still wearing your wedding ring.”

“Yes.”

“Have you considered my proposition?”

Lily set aside the book she was holding. “I would do anything to protect Harry.”

A flicker of pain crossed his expression. “Even marry a man you don’t love?”

She wanted to hit him. She wanted to cause him deep pain. “I loved James. I still love him.”

“He’s dead,” Severus said dryly.

The anger flared hotter. “I hate you.”

Severus stared and stared at her face. It was as if his eyes couldn’t get enough of her. “You can hate me,” he said softly. “Just let me protect you.”

“And my son.”

“Yes, and your son.”

“I will never love you. Not as a lover. Not as I once did.”

He licked his lips. It was a nervous little gesture. “Did you ever—?”

“Want you?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Finally, Severus dragged his gaze away. His thin chest moved quickly. “I already knew it. I don’t know why I asked.”

“You were obsessed with me. You still are.”

Severus slammed a fist to his thigh. “I saved you,” he hissed.

“From what? Death? I never feared it.”

“If it wasn’t for me, he would have killed you. And Harry.”

Lily hesitated. “Then I am grateful for my son’s sake. I only care about his life.”

“I don’t want your gratitude.”

“What do you want then?”

He speared her with a look. “You know what I want. I’ve made it perfectly clear.”

“You want to marry me.”

“Yes.”

“You want to—what? Fuck me?” They used to tell each other nearly everything, but now using a curse word in front of him felt foreign.

His eyes fluttered closed. “Yes,” he whispered.

“You disgust me. You let my husband die just because you were hateful and jealous and wanted me all for yourself.”

“Do you think it was easy for me?” he said quietly, his eyes still closed. “I went against the Dark Lord. I begged him. I promised him. I virtually sold my soul to him. All so that you and Harry would be spared—”

“What a victim you are,” she taunted. “Poor little Sev. it’s always someone else’s fault, isn’t it?”

He snapped his eyes open. “I’m not a victim. I’m—I’m—”

“You’re a coward.”

On the chimneypiece, a glass trinket shattered. The loud noise woke up Harry. As Lily held her squirming child in her arms, Severus stood over her, wand in his hand. She was defenceless.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you,” he said quietly, reverently.

She glared at him, defiant. “How tragic.”

His black gaze glittered as he stared down at her. She knew his face so well; she had spent hours and hours gazing upon it, but she had only caught glimpses of this side of him. He had always tried to hide the dark hunger in him—the rage.

“I won’t force you to marry me,” he said, breathing rapidly.

“And if I choose not to accept your proposal?”

“You will die.”

She huffed a laugh. “My choices are to marry you or to die. How is that not coercion?”

“I will make sure the Dark Lord spares your son.”

“Why?”

Severus looked down at the baby in her arms. “He is an innocent. He doesn’t deserve death.”

“But I deserve it?”

“It would be merciful, would it not? You said you cared so little for your own life. You would be with your dear dead husband.”

“And who would do it? You?”

His eyelid twitched.

Sighing, she carefully set down Harry on his blanket and stood. She stepped closer to Severus, and he raised his wand.

“You’re lying,” she said.

“Don’t test me.”

“You could kill me? Right here, right now?” She stepped even closer, entering his space. She was close enough to see his rapid heartbeat at his throat.

“If I had to.”

“Liar.”

“Damn you,” he snarled. He grabbed her, pulling her against him, his arms wrapped around her. He was so thin.

“What are you doing?”

He pressed his mouth to her ear. “For years, you were the only thing in my life worth living for,” he said, reverent again.

“But not anymore.”

“No. Not anymore.”

“What are you living for now?”

“I live for him.” His mouth was still so close, his breath so hot, so desperate.

Lily shuddered. “I hate you.”

“Marry me.”

She buried her hands in his black robes. “I hate you, I hate you.”

“Marry me, damn you. Let me have you. Just once. After that, we will be nothing more than friends …”

“Just once?”

“The Dark Lord will request it. He is a very distrustful man.”

“Will he want to watch?” She nearly laughed. Everything about her situation was inconceivable.

It was his turn to shudder. “Damn you, damn you,” he muttered, tightening his arms around her.

“I’m nothing but a Mudblood to you, to him, to everyone here.”

“No.” Severus shook his head. “You are—you are—”

“Clever?”

“Perfect.”

“I want time to mourn.”

“Oh, Lily,” he breathed. He was shaking from head to toe.

“And I want you to promise me something.” She pulled back so she could gaze into his face. There were tears in his eyes.

“No matter what happens, you will put my son first. Save him first, choose him first. Whatever may come. Swear it.”

“I swear it.” One betraying tear escaped down his cheek.

“Even if the choice is life or death for us. You will save him instead of me. Swear it.”

“I swear.”

“Then, yes. I will marry you.”

*

On the morning of her wedding, a house-elf visited Lily and the potatoes in the cupboard.

“I’ve brought you a dress,” piped the elf.

Lily looked at the creature blankly. “Why do I need a new dress?”

“Because it’s your special day, silly!” The elf snapped her fingers and a full length mirror appeared. Another snap of her fingers and the wedding dress replaced her stained shirt and trousers on her body.

“You are very skilled at magic,” Lily said.

The elf scurried around her feet, shortening the hem and lacy train. The colour of the satin was pure white. Lily hated it.

“I would like to change the colour of the dress. Perhaps to a light cream?”

“Anything, miss!” The elf pointed to the dress and the colour deepened.

Lily gazed at herself in the mirror. Her eyes filled with tears. James.

“No, no, you can’t cry!” The elf hastily cleaned her face with more magic, then Spelled her hair into an elegant chignon. “Would you like some roses in your hair?”

“You don’t think they will clash?”

“No.” Snapping her fingers again, the elf Conjured up a short chain of small white and red roses, then secured it around the chignon.

Lily gazed over her shoulder into the mirror, looking at her hair. “They are gorgeous,” she whispered.

“I’m glad you think so. Now please lean down so I can apply your makeup.”

Lily did as the elf asked. A minute later, her makeup was complete. Her lips wore a pink shade, her eyes just lightly shadowed. Her skin looked very clear.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

*

The wedding was held in the Lestranges' drawing room. There was a chill in the air and a fire burned brightly on the hearth. Long dead Lestranges watched her disdainfully from their portraits. The living ones barely gave her a glance.

Lily held Harry in her arms. Severus waited for her by a simple altar. Next to him stood Voldemort. Lily tried not to flinch.

“Give your son to me,” ordered Narcissa Malfoy. “You cannot hold him during the ceremony.”

She wanted to bolt. Gulping, blinking away tears, she handed over Harry to Narcissa. It felt as if she was losing something essential to her.

“Please,” Lily whispered. Narcissa nodded as if she understood.

Keeping her chin up, Lily walked down the makeshift aisle to Severus and Voldemort. They had both played a role in murdering her husband.

Severus looked handsome. She saw it even through her terror, her anguish, her guilt.

Before she reached him, Voldemort rested a cold hand on her shoulder. “You better not hurt him,” he said softly in her ear.

“And if I do?”

Voldemort squeezed her shoulder painfully. “You will regret it.” His voice was a hiss. He released her and stepped away.

Lily met Severus at the altar. He stared at her hungrily. “Are you ready?” he asked softly.

“Yes.”

Severus took her hands. When they spoke their marriage vows, the look in his eyes softened. His voice trembled as he promised to have and to hold her. He loved her so much. Didn’t that count for something?

Lily’s heart thudded as she pledged to love him today, tomorrow, and forever.

And when they were announced husband and wife, Severus cradled her face between his hands and kissed her. His lips were warm and soft, and Lily felt a little shock of arousal. Somewhere in a secret part of her mind, she knew she had been waiting for that kiss for a long time.

They pulled away. Severus breathed rapidly, his cheeks a little pink. For a moment, he looked at her lovingly, almost worshipfully, but then his gaze shifted to someone beyond her.

Voldemort was smiling at them, almost laughing, and his red eyes glinted in the shadowy drawing room. Lily moved closer to Severus, wanting him to protect her, but the worshipful expression on his face had only deepened.

“Thank you, My Lord,” Severus said.

Somewhere in the crowd, Harry let out a cry.