A Gift For fangqueen: no anxiety, no agitation, (Blaise/Draco, G)

[rarepairs_mod]

Author: ideare
Recipient: fangqueen
Title: no anxiety, no agitation
Pairing: blaise/draco
Rating: g
Word Count: 962
Summary: while all of hogwarts sleeps, blaise helps relieve the itch in draco's arm.
Author's Notes: this was challenging, but fun to write. i hope you enjoy it! also, a massive thank you to the mods for being so patient with me.

If you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.

—

Clown Girl, Monica Drake

Draco rubs hard at the skin at the edge of his new tattoo trying in vain to imagine he's actually scratching at the part that really itches. It is so frustrating trying to work around the constant itch the ink of the tattoo creates. He has tried everything to stop the sensation, from cooling gels to Vaseline, and so far nothing has worked.

Right now, he's tucked away by a bend in the corridors to the Slytherin dorms. It's the early hours of the morning. A time when silence falls so thickly over Hogwarts that the air around him makes him feel like his ears are blocked. Even though he is used to a common room that's partly underwater, and dorms that are completely submerged, Draco has never quite gotten used to the deafening way the silence becomes here.

He has an ice cube melting against his forearm, pressing deep into the Dark Mark on his left arm. His fingertips are red and numb from the cold and the only thing the ice seems to be doing is deepening the itch. He lets out a groan of frustration as he frantically rubs the ice cube up and down his arm, pushing deeper so his fingernails barely scratch the surface of his skin. It's a tantalising tease, not providing him with any real release, and he almost wants to cry from the lack of satisfaction he's getting from this.

The moonlight that bleeds through the lake, disperses into a faint glow through the reinforced glass of the Slytherin corridor he's in, bathing everything in a sickly green sheen. The eyes of the Dark Mark seem to wink at him every time he pushes the ice cube through the dripping puddle that melts over his arm. Draco shivers and increases his speed.

A low whistle reverberates around him, and he pulls his shirt sleeve down, dropping the tiny fragment of the ice cube in his haste. The sleeve turns translucent in the wet patch on his arm. He whips around and spots Blaise, slinking into the light of a window before coming closer to Draco.

"I'd heard whispers, but I didn't think they were actually true," Blaise lifts up Draco's arm when he is near enough. "May I?"

Draco nods, not really sure what Blaise will do, but trusting him all the same.

Blaise carefully pulls up Draco's sleeve, revealing the wet and slightly reddened skin where the Dark Mark stares blankly up at them. There is a microsecond where Blaise hesitates before he uses the edge of the sleeve of his nightshirt to wipe away the remaining wetness. He uses his index and middle fingers to tap rhythmically against the tattoo; the action reminding Draco of the healers at St. Mungo's preparing someone for an injection. Blaise moves his fingers up and down the area of the Dark Mark, and just a bit before and after the design has ended. The way he taps his fingers on Draco's arm is gentle, but firm, applying just the right pressure to provide Draco with the relief he has otherwise been unable to get.

The itching seems to gradually evaporate after each touch of Blaise's fingers. His rhythmic tapping lulls Draco's tumultuous mind into more peaceful thoughts, his eyes slipping shut, and he finds the tension in his body seeping out; right now, right here — for the first time in a long time, he is relaxed.

"You know this isn't our fight, right?" Blaise's voice is soft in the otherwise silent corridor, and Draco almost doesn't catch what he's saying. "Whatever war the Dark Lord wants to wage, it will be out there — with the adults and people of his generation, not in here with us. We have nothing to do with any of this."

Draco almosts laughs at that. Almost.

He opens his eyes, looking up and studying Blaise's face, weighing his options. Blaise seems to feel Draco's gaze because he looks up too, their eyes locking. And Draco is so, so tempted to tell Blaise everything: about all the things that have happened this past summer, all the things Lord Voldemort has planned for him this school year. But Blaise still looks so innocent in a way that Draco can never be again. An innocence that Draco refuses to steal from him until he absolutely has to. Now isn't the time for that, though.

He shakes his head a little and looks away. Down to his arm, and the eyes of the Dark Mark staring blankly back at him. Blaise has stopped his tapping and the itching has ended. Now all Blaise is doing is holding Draco's hand gently with one hand supporting Draco's arm.

Pulling away from him, Draco shakes his damp sleeve down. "Your mum might not fight," he says, straightening out the creased sleeve, "but my parents will. That makes whatever Lord Voldemort has planned as much to do with me as it does with them. This is my fight, and I won't just stand on the sidelines."

He looks to Blaise again, a quick glance to size up Blaise's reaction: calm, grudgingly accepting, maybe, but not arrogantly judgemental.

Draco mutters thanks, indicating vaguely around them but implying his arm, before turning towards the common room. He plans to head to the Room of Hidden Things that he's been practising in, the one that appears on the seventh floor like a blessing every time he starts panicking about all the things he needs to do.

Blaise says something behind him, his voice boomeranging down the corners of the corridor. Draco catches a wisp of 'curfew' but doesn't slow down on his way to the common room entrance. What is one more rule being broken in the prelude to the flood that will follow?

Comments

[ravenclawsquill]

I really enjoyed reading this.

The imagery was wonderful and Draco's difficult decision as to whether to confide in Blaise is beautifully written.

Wonderful little fic!

[ideare.livejournal.com]

i figured that he'd want to tell someone about everything he was going through, especially someone who might be able to help him with it on a daily basis, but at the same time he'd be too kind-hearted to make them go through what he was going through.

thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed it.

[nereycamille.livejournal.com]

I too liked how Draco was written, having to deal with a heavy burden the best he can, and also how you wrote Blaise, innocent yet understanding. I loved the quote at the beginning, I do believe real love doesn't have to mean turmoil!
And I don't know if it was your intention, but some sentences really sounded to me like they there was something really hot going on:
It's a tantalising tease, not providing him with any real release, and he almost wants to cry from the lack of satisfaction he's getting from this.
Draco shivers and increases his speed.
gentle, but firm, applying just the right pressure to provide Draco with the relief he has otherwise been unable to get.
There is a microsecond where Blaise hesitates before he uses the edge of the sleeve of his nightshirt to wipe away the remaining wetness.
LOL
I also very much liked the last sentence. Well done!

[ideare.livejournal.com]

lol! it wasn't intentional, but when i read it back, i thought it might sound suspicious.
thank you for the comment!

[scarletladyy.livejournal.com]

I love the picture this paints of such a difficult time for Draco; I really feel for him, really get him. He's in such a hard place and you've really captured that. Well done!

[ideare.livejournal.com]

sometimes i forget that they're all just kids when all these things were happening to them.
thank you for the comment!

[fangqueen.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to reading this, but this was beautiful!! I'm such a sap for sixth year, depressing, Draco-is-still-a-Death-Eater Blaise/Draco, so thank you so so much for indulging me with that! The quote at the beginning was so perfect, and (I think) so very true. I also love that it feels like so much was said about how they feel about each other in so few words and such fairly innocent interaction.

Stunning, well done! Again, thank you soooo much!! <333

[ideare.livejournal.com]

i'm so glad you liked this! i went through so many different ideas and pairings that i had almost 3,000 words of half-started fics on my laptop before i finished this one.

you're very very welcome! ♥

[articcat621.livejournal.com]

I loved that Draco was so desperate that he tried Muggle methods. Blaise's innocence is wonderfully written here. I do like to think though that Blaise continues to help Draco out by relieving him of some of his tension ❤

[ideare.livejournal.com]

there's a reason for that other than just desperation. see, my theory is that the dark mark is made with magical/enchanted ink that takes a few weeks to settle. before those weeks are up, any magic used on it will be excruciatingly painful and make it difficult for the mark to work properly. the mark will also assume that you're trying to remove it, and it'll send an alert to the person who gave you the mark. so muggle methods are really the only safe way to go.

from all that i've heard about boarding schools, it's very very likely he will.

thank you for the comment!

[kiertorata.livejournal.com]

This was utterly gorgeous and heartbreaking - I could feel Draco's barely-controlled panic. So much was concealed in the short interaction and seemingly small gestures. I love this kind of stories with a sense of "calm before the storm".

[ideare.livejournal.com]

d'you the scene in the film (hbp) where draco is starring at himself in the mirror when he's in the toilets? let's say this is the scene shortly before that. so you're definitely right about the "calm before the storm".

thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed it.