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rarepair_shorts2010-03-07 03:15 pm
the-porous-page.livejournal.com) wrote in rarepair_shorts2010-03-07 03:15 pm
Entry tags:
FICLET: Unring (Hermione/Katie)
Title: Unring
Pairing: Hermione/Katie (one-sided)
Prompt: she didn't look back
Rating: PG13 (for character death and general dark themes)
Word Count: 606
Summary: While attending the Headmaster's funeral during the last moments of her final year at Hogwarts, Katie remembers a conversation she and Dumbledore once had.
Author's Notes: If only every closeted queer kid could have this sort of conversation with Dumbledore, I think we'd all feel a little bit better.
Link to Prompt Table: Prompt Table
Katie stared, stone-faced, at where Dumbledore’s body lay before throngs and throngs of people. She tried her best to keep her eyes forward, though Hermione sobbing into Ron’s shoulder stood out in her peripheral vision like a lightning bolt that would not fade back into the sky.
“Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.”
When the Headmaster had said this to her, his eyes twinkled knowingly behind his half-moon spectacles, and when she said nothing he leaned back in his chair and let out a low chuckle. Had it only been a few short months ago that McGonagall had informed her he wanted to speak with her? She remembered feeling bewildered; Dumbledore usually only asked to speak to Harry Potter.
“Sometimes bells need to ring. You ought to let them. Do you understand?”
She had stared at him in wonder, and he had let out another low chuckle. She wondered if somehow he had caught wind of the rumor that had been circulating the castle about her. People were saying she shouldn’t be allowed to change in the girls’ locker room, as though her eyes would wander any which way when they only wanted to rest on a solitary form. The same form who had her arms around Ron Weasley now.
“It does not matter what people think of you, but only what you think of yourself. Always be honest with yourself and others about who you are. I only wish that I was your age again. I would have done things differently. I would have made sure to carry less shame, if any at all. Now I am full of it.”
Because he had seen something in her that he couldn’t express in himself, and he told all of this to her in a code made up of looks. And she finally understood why she was there, that he was trying to help her and, by doing so, attempting to give himself comfort. She stared at him, his soft, wrinkled features, and tried to picture it but could not.
She imagined that face now, the eyes closed, hidden behind the lid of a box too small to hold him. She felt such intense grief, a nameless kind, and found no comfort in the fact that she had not known the man well at all. She found the back of Harry Potter’s head and felt immensely sorry for him.
“Sometimes bells need to ring, Miss Bell. Let them. Let yourself.”
His entire self, wrapped in a marble casket, seemed a hollow shell, as though something very important had been cut out of him. This was not the same man who had uttered those words to her. That man was somewhere else. She turned to leave, to walk alone back to the dormitory, to pack up and leave and never return. Her final year, and it ended like this.
She searched the crowd for her, one final time, and found her. Her face, pulled away from Ron’s shoulder for just an instant, turned and their eyes met. Katie felt her expression change into a look only Dumbledore and people like Dumbledore would have understood. She felt something inside of her ringing, and she offered Hermione a small smile, which the younger girl returned tentatively. She did it out of courtesy, and Katie knew this and accepted it. The ringing grew louder and she turned her face back towards the castle, whispering a goodbye.
She didn’t look back.
Pairing: Hermione/Katie (one-sided)
Prompt: she didn't look back
Rating: PG13 (for character death and general dark themes)
Word Count: 606
Summary: While attending the Headmaster's funeral during the last moments of her final year at Hogwarts, Katie remembers a conversation she and Dumbledore once had.
Author's Notes: If only every closeted queer kid could have this sort of conversation with Dumbledore, I think we'd all feel a little bit better.
Link to Prompt Table: Prompt Table
Katie stared, stone-faced, at where Dumbledore’s body lay before throngs and throngs of people. She tried her best to keep her eyes forward, though Hermione sobbing into Ron’s shoulder stood out in her peripheral vision like a lightning bolt that would not fade back into the sky.
“Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.”
When the Headmaster had said this to her, his eyes twinkled knowingly behind his half-moon spectacles, and when she said nothing he leaned back in his chair and let out a low chuckle. Had it only been a few short months ago that McGonagall had informed her he wanted to speak with her? She remembered feeling bewildered; Dumbledore usually only asked to speak to Harry Potter.
“Sometimes bells need to ring. You ought to let them. Do you understand?”
She had stared at him in wonder, and he had let out another low chuckle. She wondered if somehow he had caught wind of the rumor that had been circulating the castle about her. People were saying she shouldn’t be allowed to change in the girls’ locker room, as though her eyes would wander any which way when they only wanted to rest on a solitary form. The same form who had her arms around Ron Weasley now.
“It does not matter what people think of you, but only what you think of yourself. Always be honest with yourself and others about who you are. I only wish that I was your age again. I would have done things differently. I would have made sure to carry less shame, if any at all. Now I am full of it.”
Because he had seen something in her that he couldn’t express in himself, and he told all of this to her in a code made up of looks. And she finally understood why she was there, that he was trying to help her and, by doing so, attempting to give himself comfort. She stared at him, his soft, wrinkled features, and tried to picture it but could not.
She imagined that face now, the eyes closed, hidden behind the lid of a box too small to hold him. She felt such intense grief, a nameless kind, and found no comfort in the fact that she had not known the man well at all. She found the back of Harry Potter’s head and felt immensely sorry for him.
“Sometimes bells need to ring, Miss Bell. Let them. Let yourself.”
His entire self, wrapped in a marble casket, seemed a hollow shell, as though something very important had been cut out of him. This was not the same man who had uttered those words to her. That man was somewhere else. She turned to leave, to walk alone back to the dormitory, to pack up and leave and never return. Her final year, and it ended like this.
She searched the crowd for her, one final time, and found her. Her face, pulled away from Ron’s shoulder for just an instant, turned and their eyes met. Katie felt her expression change into a look only Dumbledore and people like Dumbledore would have understood. She felt something inside of her ringing, and she offered Hermione a small smile, which the younger girl returned tentatively. She did it out of courtesy, and Katie knew this and accepted it. The ringing grew louder and she turned her face back towards the castle, whispering a goodbye.
She didn’t look back.