I liked how you handled the movement of the story form Neville's difficulties to Seamus and Susan's predicament. The conversation seemed real and not forced and Seamus was charmingly obtuse. I liked Neville and Seamus with their hands full of realistic toddlers. (I have a small obstetrical comment concerning Hannah if you are interested. It would take a small mistake away but I don't think most of your readers would notice. Your call.)